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S1: Day 49 (49)
Oct. 18th, 2019 04:47 pmWord count: 967
I did all of those words in 30 minutes. So I think I'm good. I just need to sit and write now.
I did all of those words in 30 minutes. So I think I'm good. I just need to sit and write now.
S1: Day 47 (47)
Oct. 16th, 2019 12:45 pmWord Count: 194.
Another small day, but I loved what I wrote, and that is a HUGE victory sometimes. I like the words I'm putting out, and I like the story and where it's going. Once I get back into the swing of feeling like myself, I have a feeling the words will just pour out of me and become an unstoppable force.
I'm still looking at my projects as more of a list of tasks rather than a word count goal. If I think of all the words I need to "catch up", I'm going to have a meltdown. You know?
Currently, I'm writing this at the library and while I haven't written words yet, I feel very...in tune with my thoughts. I wrote a personal blog entry before writing out this one, and I came to a lot of interesting conclusions.
I'm trying to shove myself into a box. It's a box that has been presented to me by the people in my life. They expect me to fit in the box and to do things a specific way. It's not working, because I do not feel like myself in the box. I'm not sure if MY box is a different material, or a different shape, or a different size, but whatever it is, it isn't the one I'm currently trying to reside in.
But this revelation has been good for me in that it'll bring back the spark in my creativity that has been missing for so long. The spark that made me love what I do. I need to keep the flame fanned and going. When I'm not creating, I'm a miserable troll. It's my lifeblood.
Another small day, but I loved what I wrote, and that is a HUGE victory sometimes. I like the words I'm putting out, and I like the story and where it's going. Once I get back into the swing of feeling like myself, I have a feeling the words will just pour out of me and become an unstoppable force.
I'm still looking at my projects as more of a list of tasks rather than a word count goal. If I think of all the words I need to "catch up", I'm going to have a meltdown. You know?
Currently, I'm writing this at the library and while I haven't written words yet, I feel very...in tune with my thoughts. I wrote a personal blog entry before writing out this one, and I came to a lot of interesting conclusions.
I'm trying to shove myself into a box. It's a box that has been presented to me by the people in my life. They expect me to fit in the box and to do things a specific way. It's not working, because I do not feel like myself in the box. I'm not sure if MY box is a different material, or a different shape, or a different size, but whatever it is, it isn't the one I'm currently trying to reside in.
But this revelation has been good for me in that it'll bring back the spark in my creativity that has been missing for so long. The spark that made me love what I do. I need to keep the flame fanned and going. When I'm not creating, I'm a miserable troll. It's my lifeblood.
S1: Day 46 (46)
Oct. 15th, 2019 03:30 pmYesterday I wrote: 227 words.
A small amount, but here's the thing...I wrote. And last night before bed I counted my victories, no matter how simple they are.
Today, I still feel kind of weird in regards to writing, but I'm going to keep at it like always. I feel excited to write at least, and I like my projects again instead of this feeling of constant loathing. I no longer see them as simple tasks that I HAVE to do OR ELSE, but something I actually feel inspired to achieve.
So that's the plan. To achieve. Today and tomorrow are pretty low key, so I should be able to do plenty.
A small amount, but here's the thing...I wrote. And last night before bed I counted my victories, no matter how simple they are.
Today, I still feel kind of weird in regards to writing, but I'm going to keep at it like always. I feel excited to write at least, and I like my projects again instead of this feeling of constant loathing. I no longer see them as simple tasks that I HAVE to do OR ELSE, but something I actually feel inspired to achieve.
So that's the plan. To achieve. Today and tomorrow are pretty low key, so I should be able to do plenty.
S1: Day 45 (45)
Oct. 14th, 2019 10:43 amLike I said in my previous post, I think I solved the problem of what's been going on in me. Or at least figured out what it was so I can make the steps to correct it.
I'm pretty sure I'm suffering from a sinus infection mixed in with a touch of depression/anxiety. That's not an easy thing to write. I don't think people see me as being depressed, but going through all of the symptoms of it, it's pretty obviously there.
The constant fatigue
The lack of interest in everything
The short temper
The list goes on and on. My concern with sharing this information, is that people are going to freak out and do the opposite of what I need and that is drown me in attention. In reality, I think I'm depressed because there is a great deal of lack of respect for my needs floating around me and that is what is making me feel so fed up with everything. At the same time, if I say nothing, then will anything change? Probably not.
What does this have to do with my writing life? Plenty. Clearly, I'm not writing. Is it professional to be realistic about where my head is at? That's open for debate. So much of the stigma behind the mental health problems revolves around: it's a secret, no one can know or they'll treat me differently because of it.
And that's kind of where I'm at. Do I need people to treat me differently? Yes, I do, but not in the way that the word depression brings out.
But I know, and I know what I need. It'll hopefully be a turning around point now.
I'm pretty sure I'm suffering from a sinus infection mixed in with a touch of depression/anxiety. That's not an easy thing to write. I don't think people see me as being depressed, but going through all of the symptoms of it, it's pretty obviously there.
The constant fatigue
The lack of interest in everything
The short temper
The list goes on and on. My concern with sharing this information, is that people are going to freak out and do the opposite of what I need and that is drown me in attention. In reality, I think I'm depressed because there is a great deal of lack of respect for my needs floating around me and that is what is making me feel so fed up with everything. At the same time, if I say nothing, then will anything change? Probably not.
What does this have to do with my writing life? Plenty. Clearly, I'm not writing. Is it professional to be realistic about where my head is at? That's open for debate. So much of the stigma behind the mental health problems revolves around: it's a secret, no one can know or they'll treat me differently because of it.
And that's kind of where I'm at. Do I need people to treat me differently? Yes, I do, but not in the way that the word depression brings out.
But I know, and I know what I need. It'll hopefully be a turning around point now.
S1: Day 43 and 44 (43,44)
Oct. 14th, 2019 10:40 amBoth of these are sharing a day because they were exactly the same.
I read. A lot.
I slept. A lot.
I've sorted out my problem and now I'm going to get things moving again. I know it's not going to be easy. More on this later, though.
I read. A lot.
I slept. A lot.
I've sorted out my problem and now I'm going to get things moving again. I know it's not going to be easy. More on this later, though.
S1: Day 42 (42)
Oct. 11th, 2019 06:12 pmI ended up taking a four hour nap today if that says anything about how I'm feeling. I'm not sure if I'm fighting off stress or sickness or a combination of both. After sleeping, I feel improved, but also a little off. Time to do some work and some soul searching, though.
Still at 0 words for the day.
Still at 0 words for the day.
S1: Day 41 (41)
Oct. 10th, 2019 10:22 amAs I said in my last post, I figured out what my hang up is. Confidence. Somehow, I've lost confidence in myself. While I could write a lengthy update about this, I also have to get working. My energy is low, and my brain feels a little foggy, so I feel like I need to use my mental energy wisely and save that lengthy update for another day.
Stay tuned!
Stay tuned!
S1: Day 40 (40)
Oct. 9th, 2019 10:20 amI wrote a few paragraphs yesterday. Still feel funky. I think I found the solution!
S1: Day 39 (39)
Oct. 8th, 2019 02:43 pmYesterday was another day of 0 writing.
I've re-evaluated my goals for the month, and I've got things reset as needed. Whatever funk I'm feeling, today is the day I shed it.
Today. Is. The. Day.
I've re-evaluated my goals for the month, and I've got things reset as needed. Whatever funk I'm feeling, today is the day I shed it.
Today. Is. The. Day.
S1: Day 38 (38)
Oct. 7th, 2019 03:08 pmI did no writing yesterday too. The weekend was busy, so I decided to just take it easy and have an early bed time. My goals are simple for the time being, so it's not a big deal. Catching up should be easy!
S1: Day 35 (35)
Oct. 4th, 2019 03:36 pmWord Count: 3945
Big day. I haven't started yet today, but I'm hoping for an equally as big day today.
For the most part, I feel good today about working. The energy is here, there are just a lot of other smaller things I need to do first before I can start on the words. That being said, I get to stay in and be cozy with my computer all night, so it's the makings of a great time. The hope is to be so successful today, I can take tomorrow off in its entirety and not feel one bit bad about that.
It's definitely doable. I've got a game plan. Having a plan helps the whole process end up more successful. The only thing that will hinder the plan is if other people try to insert themselves into the equation as distractions.
Big day. I haven't started yet today, but I'm hoping for an equally as big day today.
For the most part, I feel good today about working. The energy is here, there are just a lot of other smaller things I need to do first before I can start on the words. That being said, I get to stay in and be cozy with my computer all night, so it's the makings of a great time. The hope is to be so successful today, I can take tomorrow off in its entirety and not feel one bit bad about that.
It's definitely doable. I've got a game plan. Having a plan helps the whole process end up more successful. The only thing that will hinder the plan is if other people try to insert themselves into the equation as distractions.
S1: Day 34 (34)
Oct. 3rd, 2019 11:44 amWord Count: 2767
I did a lot more than I thought I was going to do. It was definitely a hard day, like I predicted. Today is looking to be another one.
On days like this, I make my big goals bite sized chunks. For example, my first goal was to finish part A of project 1. Then I did edits on part B of that same project.
Now I have project 2, and that has 2 parts to it. Then I have project 3 which is 3 parts.
The plan is to do part A of project 2 after I eat lunch. Then I'm going to take a break, and start working on part A of project 3. From there, I'm going to take another break. This one might be a longer one. After that, I'll finish off parts B of both remaining projects, as well as C.
All of this will probably be done in choppy intervals as well. Because that's just how today is going to go. Unfortunately. However, I'm hopeful I'll get everything done, or pretty darn close to everything. Pretty darn close is still a great outcome.
I did a lot more than I thought I was going to do. It was definitely a hard day, like I predicted. Today is looking to be another one.
On days like this, I make my big goals bite sized chunks. For example, my first goal was to finish part A of project 1. Then I did edits on part B of that same project.
Now I have project 2, and that has 2 parts to it. Then I have project 3 which is 3 parts.
The plan is to do part A of project 2 after I eat lunch. Then I'm going to take a break, and start working on part A of project 3. From there, I'm going to take another break. This one might be a longer one. After that, I'll finish off parts B of both remaining projects, as well as C.
All of this will probably be done in choppy intervals as well. Because that's just how today is going to go. Unfortunately. However, I'm hopeful I'll get everything done, or pretty darn close to everything. Pretty darn close is still a great outcome.
S1: Day 33 (33)
Oct. 2nd, 2019 06:36 pmWord count: 2604
I don't have anything to share for today beyond that.
I don't have anything to share for today beyond that.
S1: Day 31 (31)
Oct. 1st, 2019 11:14 amYesterday's count was 3193. Pretty darn good considering I didn't want to do anything and the kids were home all day yesterday to be in my business! They were very argumentative yesterday as well. Not just with each other, but with me too, and that kind of stress always pulls me out of a creative zone.
We got through it, and they're back at school today, so today should be a big day of working! I've also got a lot of ideas for new things to work on. They're going to have to be put into my little mental storage box for the time being, though. I need to work on other things first. However, if I keep coming up with all kinds of ideas, then I won't be running out of book content for a long time. It's a nice problem to have!
We got through it, and they're back at school today, so today should be a big day of working! I've also got a lot of ideas for new things to work on. They're going to have to be put into my little mental storage box for the time being, though. I need to work on other things first. However, if I keep coming up with all kinds of ideas, then I won't be running out of book content for a long time. It's a nice problem to have!
S1: Day 30 (30)
Sep. 30th, 2019 03:56 pmYesterday's count: 2219
Yesterday was hard. I started late, and when it gets late, I usually shut down. I didn't! I was so close to doing it, but I kept at it because I knew I had to. If I didn't, it'd not only put me behind, but it'd dampen my spirits because I had no reasons to NOT get work done yesterday.
So I did it. I pushed through. Bit the bullet. Kept on. I didn't do quite as much as I wanted, but wow did I do more than I thought. 2000 words is not small potatoes when it's after your bedtime.
Today, I continue to press forward. It's definitely hard, but I know the rewards in the end are going to be worth it. So very worth it, and I'm very excited for that. Tomorrow when I give my word count, it's going to be an amazing accomplishment to share.
Yesterday was hard. I started late, and when it gets late, I usually shut down. I didn't! I was so close to doing it, but I kept at it because I knew I had to. If I didn't, it'd not only put me behind, but it'd dampen my spirits because I had no reasons to NOT get work done yesterday.
So I did it. I pushed through. Bit the bullet. Kept on. I didn't do quite as much as I wanted, but wow did I do more than I thought. 2000 words is not small potatoes when it's after your bedtime.
Today, I continue to press forward. It's definitely hard, but I know the rewards in the end are going to be worth it. So very worth it, and I'm very excited for that. Tomorrow when I give my word count, it's going to be an amazing accomplishment to share.
S1: Day 29 (29)
Sep. 29th, 2019 10:22 pmWord count: 3524
Yesterday was a big day. Today, it's late and I'm finally getting started. We'll see how much I can get done before bed. I have a few goals, and not achieving them tonight will set me behind, but I'm not going to let it bring me down. I have hope that I will crush my goals still.
We'll see if I have more to say tomorrow. I'm tired, and I still have things to do.
Yesterday was a big day. Today, it's late and I'm finally getting started. We'll see how much I can get done before bed. I have a few goals, and not achieving them tonight will set me behind, but I'm not going to let it bring me down. I have hope that I will crush my goals still.
We'll see if I have more to say tomorrow. I'm tired, and I still have things to do.
S1: Day 28 (28)
Sep. 28th, 2019 11:19 amStill no words yesterday. My brain is feeling so much better today, though, so I'm very excited to get back to work today. Expect a huge writing update tomorrow!
