S1: Day 43 and 44 (43,44)

Both of these are sharing a day because they were exactly the same.

I read. A lot.

I slept. A lot.

I've sorted out my problem and now I'm going to get things moving again. I know it's not going to be easy. More on this later, though.

S1: Day 45 (45)

Like I said in my previous post, I think I solved the problem of what's been going on in me. Or at least figured out what it was so I can make the steps to correct it.

I'm pretty sure I'm suffering from a sinus infection mixed in with a touch of depression/anxiety. That's not an easy thing to write. I don't think people see me as being depressed, but going through all of the symptoms of it, it's pretty obviously there.

The constant fatigue
The lack of interest in everything
The short temper

The list goes on and on. My concern with sharing this information, is that people are going to freak out and do the opposite of what I need and that is drown me in attention. In reality, I think I'm depressed because there is a great deal of lack of respect for my needs floating around me and that is what is making me feel so fed up with everything. At the same time, if I say nothing, then will anything change? Probably not.

What does this have to do with my writing life? Plenty. Clearly, I'm not writing. Is it professional to be realistic about where my head is at? That's open for debate. So much of the stigma behind the mental health problems revolves around: it's a secret, no one can know or they'll treat me differently because of it.

And that's kind of where I'm at. Do I need people to treat me differently? Yes, I do, but not in the way that the word depression brings out.

But I know, and I know what I need. It'll hopefully be a turning around point now.