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I'm struggling with writing. Even coming up with a blog post topic was hard for me, because I'm just not writing at the moment. It. Sucks.

I could go through all the ways one gets out of writer's block. Honestly, there isn't a magical trick to it. It just kind of happens after trying a few different things until one method hopefully sticks. What might work for me, won't work for someone else, and what might work for me, might only work on that particular cycle of the moon with that specific planetary alignment.

Not writing is hard. On the one hand, I get a break from using my brain and my house gets cleaner and I work out more as I try to find ways to avoid actually writing. On the other hand, I get frustrated and trapped within my own brain. That is what it feels like: being trapped inside of my brain. The way my brain works is why I'm pretty sure all true writers are considered weird, because there is no way I'm the only person who goes through this.

And when I say true writers, I mean those who are called to the craft. I know a lot of fantastic writers who are called to other walks of life, so it's not about talent or lack of or even lack of ideas. It's just that calling, and some people are called to it for only a season - to write that one epic story inside of them before going off to change the world in another way. Then there are those who are called to constantly share different parts of their soul by way of various stories. Who aren't ever supposed to stop for fear of losing their sanity and joy.

I consider myself one of those individuals. By all means, I'm not the most talented individual. My ideas might not even be all that great. If I stop writing, though? I'm going to feel hollow. Even if nothing comes of it, I need to do this.

But I'm not writing, thus I feel trapped. There is no real reason for me to not be writing. I'm just not doing it. My prison is my own doing at this point. I only have my own stubbornness to blame. Perhaps I'll figure out this mystery. Hopefully, soon.

Blogging?

Feb. 28th, 2017 03:32 pm
cloudsriser: (Default)
I have a love/hate relationship with blogging. I've said it before, it is not my specialty. That being said, I am determined to keep getting back on the horse. I think part of the problem is that I get nervous about sharing too many opinions on the internet. People get too opinionated, and then they get attacked for sharing those opinions that are supposedly trying to present themselves as facts, or just that they have the "wrong" opinion in general.

So, I'll just say this right now: what I write here is usually going to be stream of consciousness OPINION and I will not try to pass that off as fact. If I talk about writing, I'll just state it how *I* see it, and I am fully aware that what I see and think and feel doesn't count for everyone.

And I'm okay with that, by the way. I'm okay if you don't hold the same thoughts as I do on the subject. There's one bit of blog going on about how writers shouldn't write so many books in a year because obviously that means they're not going to be very good. Opinion based on one writers experience. I'm not going to be writing things like that, or at least trying not to. Going on that same topic, though, I might say it's important to keep the quality up and that I've seen authors lose said quality by trying to put out books in a short turn-around period. Hey, I've done this myself and I am deeply ashamed of it. However, it is not my place to put a timeline on that for anyone.

See? Opinion, pure opinion. Pure stream of consciousness. Right now, those thoughts might be disjointed because I'm still recovering from a "traumatic" brain injury. Mild concussion thanks to a car accident, and just when I think I'm better, I wonder if I'm not. Having never had one of these before, I can't tell what is a result of the accident and what is just me being grumpy/tired/blech. Because I do get tired, grumpy, and especially hangry, often.

I had been a part of a blogging contest for a while, but I dropped out because I was feeling too disjointed and blech with my blogging abilities. However, the organizer of this contest did mention how continuing to exercise my brain in such a fashion might be beneficial to my recovery, so I don't want to give up blogging all together - and I did say I was going to try to be more connected with my audience. Still, part of why I dropped out is because it's hard for me to be able to think completely concretely and when it comes to things like contests I'm incredibly picky.

So this is me saying, yet again, that I am going to try to blog regularly. I'm not sure what about, and I'm not sure how this is going to go, or if I'll drop off the face of the planet - again. What I can say is that I'm going to try, and hopefully get back to thinking like a solid human being.

We'll see what happens, right? This is my first step into getting back to writing. It's been a lot harder to do than I originally anticipated.

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